McPheet.com

On Thursday night, ABC News aired a story about DNA paternity testing on
Primetime. They talked about three cases.

• Betsy and Dan Lynn. Married since 1990 with five children, Betsy
  went back to work at a nursing home, had an affair and got pregnant in 2000.
  She admitted to Dan her affair, and had the baby, Bryce, DNA tested. Dan is
  not the father. They plan to stay together and tell Bryce about his true
  paternity.
• Gerri and Donald Hill. Married four years, Gerri had an affair
  during a trial separation from Donald. After they reunited, Gerri delivered
  their fourth child, Ricky. Donald suspected that Ricky might not be his son,
  and they had the child tested. Donald was correct. Gerri wants to reveal the
  Ricky’s existence to his biological father in hopes of getting financial
  assistance. Gerri and Donald have decided to stay together.
• Darin Reeves and Tyler. Tyler’s mom, Tanya, had an affair
  (perhaps only a one-night stand) with Darin, a man she met in a bar. She delivered
  the child, and informed Darin that the boy was his. Their relationship ended
  and he refused to pay child support. His wages were garnished. Eventually
  Tanya was put in jail or in drug rehab, and Tyler was put into foster
  care. Darin, who had married another woman, took Tyler in and
  raised him for several years. However, subsequent DNA testing proved Darin
  was not the father, and he abandoned Tyler: returned him to the Tanya,
  and refused to pay anything for his support.

All of these cases are awful. The best you can say for the story is that
the two couples decided to stay together.

Let’s start with the Lynns. Setting aside why they decided to join the
Jerry Springer world and air their story publicly (complete with dramatic
opening of the test results for the camera), my question for them is Why?
Dan has already decided to forgive Betsy for the affair. What is the point
of rubbing salt in that wound? And what are you possibly going to find out
that is going to improve the situation. If Dan is Bryce’s father, Betsy
still cheated on him. And if Dan is not the father, what then? He’s already
decided to treat the child as his own.

Now, to the Hills. Donald, at least, had the good sense not to be
interviewed on camera. But Gerri not only gave her story to ABC, but
admitted to a national audience that she wants to extort money from Ricky’s
biological father. She even plans to take him to court if necessary. Does
that mean that Donald isn’t going to pay for him? Of course not - the couple
is staying together. Again, what was the point of the DNA testing? If Donald
stays together with Gerri, then he’s effectively adopting Ricky as his own.

I found Gerri to be reprehensible, but Darin Reeves is even worse. A DNA
test proves Tyler is not genetically related to him, so he’s perfectly
content to abandon the boy? The only father this child has ever known drops
him like a hot potato at the first sign of an exit. That’s just wrong.
Again, who ordered the test and why?

What Gerri Hill and Darin Reeves don’t understand is that fatherhood is
not about genes. It’s about taking care of a child. Once you accept
responsibility for a child, that decision is final, regardless of what some
later test might prove. Children are not disposable, and they are not to be
used in a financial tug-of-war.